Unballin’ Times

So basketball is a pretty fun game right? WRONG WRONG WRONG. Not when you lose it’s not. Two days ago I decided I was getting kinda fat so I had a smart idea “why don’t I play basketball.” Idiot! I told my older brother we should play and he reluctantly agreed.

Normally I’m decent at basketball. I’m not anything great. I can shoot but I cannot play defense and I have the worst stamina ever. But on Wednesday, wow. Just wow, my friends would be ashamed to know me. I was throwing up bricks the whole fucking time and by the end of it, my asthma inhaler saved my life. Pathetic, just pathetic. Upon losing, I threw the ball over the fence only to realize that I had to chase it down. As I ran, I realized I was waaay out of shape.

This realization has caused me to “cut back” on foods although I still eat a ton of junk food. But, I have started to play basketball again and I even promised myself that I would cook more. So not all losses are bad right? WRONG WRONG WRONG. This loss taught me that I’m a fat ass who can’t shoot anymore. WTFFFF.

It was embarrassing, just downright embarrassing. I used to school my brother all the time in basketball and this loss was just downright shameful. I’m not commenting on my brother’s skills, he does not care about his basketball skills whatsoever, trust me. I’m commenting on mine- my lack of exercise and stamina.

No offense to Yale students either but you guys aren’t the most athletic crew ever. In Selma, it seems everyone plays basketball regardless of skill. And most people are actually really good; I’ve yet to meet a team at Yale that could beat a crew back home (apart from the basketball team of course). I’ve gone to Payne Whitney and see people throw up bricks all the time. If you do that at Shafer you’ll be capped on for sure.

But I’m not picky now; next year who wants to ball it up? Preferably anyone who sucks so that way I never lose a terrible game again. Geez it sucked. Be warned, I am a sore loser.

Michael

Funny cheap ghetto costumes...